Top Five Reasons For Your Online Relationship With a Filipina to Fail

Long distance cross-cultural relationships are tough. Not only are both partners tasked to cut across differences in culture, they also have to put up with the lack of physical intimacy caused by their separation.

In my humble opinion, having tried online dating services and knowing the attitude of my female compatriots - Filipina or women from the Philippines, here are the top reasons for the failure of your online relationship with a Pinay (that's slang for Filipina).

1. I-Me-Mine Mindset. Of course, as they say, it takes two to tango. But you're not going to have that dance, if you think the world revolves around you. Anyone who persists on such an attitude and viewpoint, I think, should hide under a rock.

You and your Filipina partner both have needs and wants. It is simply not enough for both of you to view the relationship as a "give and take". You should help each other out to satisfy each other. Of course, if every relation - not just personal but even in business - it is better if both camps always attempt for a "win-win solution" to every problem.

2. Jealousy. Watch out for the green monster. Your Filipina partner is not your property. She and you, of course, should be free to have contact with other people. Social interaction is good for you (and her) so why deny yourself the opportunity to be better?

But if you feel other people are too close for your comfort, feel free to tell your mate. There should be boundaries, after all, but these limits should be created by a consensus.

3. Domination and Control. While there is now a general condemnation of patriarchy, (i.e., of male dominance over the female species) and a universal acceptance of equality among sexes, the control freak residing in some people make them want to dominate their partners.

With a cross-cultural relationship with your Asian partner, her usual submissive state may turn to open defiance if she would regard your attitude as "racist", which may mean that you regard her as a second-class citizen or your skin color as evidence of your self-perceived racial superiority.

4. Lack of Communication or Language Barrier. Filipinos in general are among the world best communicators. They converse very well in English. But there are still cultural barriers that may hamper open and free communication, such hindrances may lead you both to conclude that you're not talking on the same level. Be patient. Learn to listen with empathy and read between lines. Understand before trying to be understood.

5. Lies and Fault Finding. The sum of the above-mentioned four problems in a relationship would lead to the fifth, a low-trust environment where both of you find it easy to lie and to find fault in each other. You may nitpick on a wrong doing but you are not criticizing the act but the person.

Once in a much publicized breakup between a celebrity couple here in the Philippines, the husband was asked on what started his domestic troubles. He said that his wife was too wasteful as she squeezes toothpaste tubes near its caps. Of course, it sounded trivial but it shows that the split was caused by years of fault finding until the pressure was too much and they both called for a divorce. I hope these tips help you find a Filipina online dating partner to make you satisfied and happy.

Christian Singles Dating Expert Advice: Seeking God's Intended - Do Attend Mid Week Church Services

Single Christians do want to pursue a variety of help to find their God's intended celestial mate for them.

When you are a single Christian / Catholic man or woman looking for your Christian Soul Mate, often you'll be looking for that love at church. Now, if you're making efforts to visit other area churches of your same or aligned faith, do keep this in mind when scheduling your calendar. Not every Christian church actually has a Christian Singles Ministry. Additionally, not every Christian / Catholic single finds their Christian / Catholic Soul Mate at church in only the ministries that you would immediately think would attract and draw the singles.

Sometimes the very place you'll meet your Christian / Catholic Soul Mate or meet your Soul Mate through is a ministry unrelated to singles. Keep in mind, many singles meet their mate through acquaintances or friends. The majority of singles meet their mate through shared experiences and friends. How can you leverage that attribute of how singles meet their mate? Do aim to expand your social circle a bit. Look to host potluck dinners or luncheons at your place. And ask to be included at your new friends such events. Often it is in the second degree of influence out from your initial contact where you'll meet, connect with and bond with your Christian / Catholic Soul Mate.

What might that mean for you as a Single Christian Online Seeking God's Intended for You?

You could aim to attend the Ladies Ministry Group, the Men's Ministry Group. The Men's Prayer Group, or Active Prayer Ministry. Some ministries are more contemplative than others. Try one of each. If you are more of an active type, a doer sort, then often the person who will complement your temperament will have a slightly more introspective tendency than you do. So go look for the prayer groups. Attend the Days of Prayer which churches will often host in early May as well as on major national holiday Mondays when most people are off of work. If you are the spiritual introverted sort who want to pray for something to happen and leave the rest "to the Lord," then perhaps assist with a more action oriented ministry. Some good groups for you to consider joining and attending are outreach ministries, to the elderly, to a nursing home, to the homeless. Be on the look out for an active outreach ministry group which serves in an inner city urban Gospel ministry serving food directly to the homeless.

You don't have to do these things all the time. However, by stretching yourself just a little you may find yourself having reached your very Soul Mate and looking into their eyes beside you in prayer and service. And by doing something you two get to pre-taste what a shared life would be like together in a Christian Relationship. And that is what marriage is actually all about, isn't it?

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How Do Filipino Girls Celebrate the New Year?

If you are looking to celebrate the holiday season in the Philippines, it should be of great interest to you to find out how do Filipino girls celebrate New Year in their home country. This ought to make your vacation more memorable, and not only that; it might also bring you closer to the heart of a Filipina.

In the Philippines, New Year is not a separate event, but rather an extension of Christmas. And so there is pretty much of the Christmas cheer left come New Year's Day.

A few days before New Year, vendors can be found in designated areas selling fire crackers (paputok), such as Baby Rockets, Rebentador, Jumbo Fountain, Whistle Bomb, Luisis, Watusi, Bulalakaw, and Triangulo. Actually the selling of firecrackers has been banned or already regulated because of the many accidents caused by these. Yet vendors continue to sell, and Filipinos continue to buy them. These firecrackers, lighted on New Year's Eve, decorate the night sky and create loud, deafening noises, bidding goodbye to the year that was and welcoming the New Year.

Typically, the men take care of lighting of the firecrackers, while women busy themselves with the preparations for the New Year's Noche Buena. They make sure there is an abundance of foods and fruits on the table at the strike of midnight.

Traditionally, Filipino girls celebrate New Year with their family at home. The more religious of the lot hear the New Year's eve mass, while others prefer to stay at home and help out in the preparations in whatever way they can. If you want to make an impression with a Filipina, offer to accompany her in Church and if she invites you for Noche Buena, accept it and offer your services. She will make you feel welcome at home and you will have a great time with her relatives and friends. The celebration lasts until way past midnight.

Well, that's how far as tradition goes. Modern Filipino women have other ways of celebrating the New Year. Some choose to have dinner in a hotel which usually has many exciting offers that include special dinner buffet and a spectacular display of fireworks at 12 midnight. And since it's often dangerous to go back home with many Filipinos out in the streets still lighting their firecrackers, these modern girls end up spending the night in the hotel.

The day after is a bit lazy for everyone. People are in their homes, sleeping, resting, or just lying about. There aren't many vehicles on the streets, no passengers waiting in terminals, no pedestrians crossing the streets. Most establishments, including malls and groceries, are closed, so there really is nowhere else to go but home. New Year's day itself is very quiet.

Now that you have an idea how do Filipino girls celebrate new year, you have a choice of sticking with tradition or jazzing it a bit to make it more interesting for you and for the Filipino girl you choose to celebrate the New Year with.

Why Filipinos Love Tim Tebow

Do you, as in the rest of the world, also wonder why Filipinos love Tim Tebow? What makes Tim so special that everyone, not just Filipinos, are going crazy about him? Pardon the pun, but Tim has indeed taken the world by storm with followers literally from every part of the globe. You don't have to be a football fan to love Tim Tebow. Read on to find out why.

Who is Tim Tebow?

Well Tim Tebow, apparently, is not your normal footballer, who amid criticisms, made it in the National Football League. Although it does count a lot that he is a great player (he led his team to many victories!), his humanitarian acts are what really won him the hearts of many.

Tim Tebow is an American who just happened to be born in the Philippines. His mother, Pamela, a Christian Baptist missionary, has had an infection while being pregnant with Tim, and at the time, the doctors feared Tim would be still-born, and so they recommended Pamela to go through an abortion, but she decided to keep the baby, no matter what.

Tim, like his parents, is deeply religious, and he is not afraid to let the whole world know about it. Tim is very vocal when it comes to his faith and his love for Jesus. While playing for the Florida Gators during his college years, Tim had painted biblical verses on his eye. He always mentions "My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ" in press and news conferences, and whenever his team scores a goal, he thanks God first of all by dropping down on one knee, a move that has come to be known as "Tebowing".

Tim Loves Filipinos and the Filipinos Love Tim

The Filipinos love football, and they love Tim. It's no big secret that Tim loves the Filipino people as well. He has a soft spot for them. Having lived in the Philippines for a time, Tim has seen many Filipinos struggling financially. His foundation has several projects in the Philippines, among them:

• The building of a hospital in Davao City. Expected to begin groundbreaking in March 2012, the hospital will have a 30-bed capacity and will focus on correcting conditions like club foot or bow legs. The hospital will not only provide treatment, however, but also messages of inspiration, hope and love, with the end in view of bringing people closer to God.
• Uncle Dick's Home. The Tim Tebow Foundation also supports the Uncle Dick's Home in South Cotabato, Mindanao, which is home to 49 orphans.

You don't get to find many sportsmen like Tim nowadays. He is not poisoned by greed, power, and wealth, nor is he driven by these things. Tim is not just "showing off", either. It is not all lip service, as you can see. He loves Jesus and he shows it by being a good Christian himself, by setting a good example, by doing good things to other people. This, as well many other reasons, is why Filipinos love Tim Tebow.

Is It a Good Idea for a Christian to Date a Non Christian?

Today's Christians singles frequently meet other singles at the workplace, during an activity group, as well as socially at a friend's party. Is it wise to date outside of your faith? Decide for yourself in advance of facing this contemporary culture issue for single Christians.

Why are you dating?

Are you dating in order to find a mate and get married? To get married is more of the dating relationship goal of the 30 something singles as well as singles in the 40s.

However, often college age singles are not wanting to get married right now. College dating can often be a time more for relationship and communication skill development more than it is a time for life mate marriage partner selection time. If you are dating for finding a mate, then sharing the same religion is likely very important to tyou. However, if you are dating more to become skilled at conversing and socializing with the opposite sex, sharing the same religious identification and your date being a non-Christian can be an ok thing. In fact, it can aid you in stretching yourself culturally which enriches your life and your professional ability to relate well to others which can serve you well in your future career.

Do you want to have children with your future life mate?

If you are in the child bearing and rearing age group, then you definitely want to consider if raising your children in the faith you identify with is important and perhaps imperative to you. If you have decided you do not want children, you and your potential mate having different religions is less of an issue.

If you are past the age of having and raising children, then the paramount importance of your future spouse being a Christian like you are become less important in the hierarchy of mate selection criteria and character attributes.

Are you marriage minded now?

For the Christian singles who are dating with an eye towards actively seeking to find love and their future spouse, then be careful dating a Non-Christian. Dating a Non-Christian can be fine when your date is your escort. Even in our contemporary culture there are plenty of personal social and business social events where single men and women need to attend the event as a couple. When that is the case, your date need not be someone for whom you have romantic feelings. Instead, your date might be your escort.

However, singles often report that the man or woman they start seeing casually as a friend on a regular basis that they find they do start to develop romantic feelings for them. So do be careful what you are letting yourself in for. If you date someone casually for companionship and having a regular escort, you might find one, the other, or both of you start to get emotionally attached. If you do not seriously consider them a romantic contender and serious possibility for marriage, exercise caution and care for their feelings.

Having friends who are Non-Christians is a wonderful thing which enriches our modern lives. However, unless your Christian faith is more your ethnic identity and is not important to you, then avoid dating Non-Christians habitually when your primary goal is to seek a Christian spouse.

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Why Cross Cultural Relationships Are a Good Thing

Cross cultural relationships, by definition, are relations involving two individuals who belong to different cultures. Although people tend to focus more on the negative aspects of this kind of relationship, in this article I will show how cultural diversity can be a good thing for two people willing to spend their whole lives together.

The first advantage of such a relationship is that it never gets boring. There are so many things you can learn from somebody whose culture is different from yours and in turn, they can learn a lot from your culture. Think of all the fun you can have in teaching and learning. Thus, when you see other couples around you searching for words you will be thankful you do not have to go through the same.

Furthermore, you will be able to enjoy both kinds of cultural events with your partner. This will help eliminate the cultural gap between both of you and enable you to understand each other more effectively. You will cease to be a stereotype of your own culture and be able to experience new events with your partner.

There is no better way to test and enhance your patience than entering into a cross cultural relationship. As there might be many things in the other person's culture different and opposite to your own culture, you will learn to celebrate differences instead of just tolerating them.

Although many people see child rearing as a great problem in a cross cultural relationship, it is not as big a dilemma. Children who grow up in such an environment are able to develop very good linguistic skills as they can learn different languages from an early age. They will be lucky to enjoy more holidays than other children and learn about different customs. Later, they can see whichever culture suits them best and adapt to it. Even if they wish to blend in both cultures, this should not be seen as a problem. Your children will learn how to respect all kinds of cultures and emerge as excellent citizens of the society.

In the process of celebrating differences and learning about another culture, you will begin to see a way in between and find that no one is right or wrong, it is just that people have different point of views. This will change your view about life and make you more open- minded and unbiased towards your own culture.

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The Different Ethnicities of Filipina Women

As I posted photos of Filipina women in various social bookmarking sites, there were those who reacted negatively to my posts, arguing that my shared photos should be categorized as "mixed Asians" and not women from the Philippines.

Hence, I am writing this article to clarify my point-of-view regarding the issue.

I think that the image of "real" or pure Filipinas with Malay origin - characterized by their olive tan skin, flat noses dark brown or black hair, with a lack in height - is an incorrect and inexact depiction of reality.

The ethnicity of Filipinas (and all Filipinos, in general) has been one that is ever evolving. And I believe it is changing much faster than our neighbors in the Southeast Asian region such as Vietnam, Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand.

Why is it so? The Philippines has a long history of inter-mingling with other nations and ethnicities.

Even before the Spanish colonizers came in 1521, Filipinos have established trade with the Chinese and Arabs. The arrival of Magellan started the 300-year rule of Spain from the 16th to 19th century. During the Hispanic era, there have been short periods where the country was overrun by the British and the Dutch.

The Treaty of Paris opened nearly half a century of direct American colonization (from 1900 to 1940). The Second World War spanned nearly half a decade of Japanese aggression (from 1940 to 1945).

The post-war era opened up the Philippine economy to all Western capital (predominantly American), which is the reason why some nationalist historians tag the country as a "semi-colony".

The global diaspora of Filipinos looking for work abroad - starting in the 1970s - further changed the ethnicities of the younger generation of Filipinas.

At present, there is an estimate of 10 million Filipino overseas contract workers. Labor migration due to low wages and lack of employment opportunities is one of the main sources of income (through remittances to their families) for a sizable portion of the population.

Remittances by migrant workers are the country's main economic lifeline, ensuring a steady stream of dollar supply for our import-dependent, export-oriented economy. But that is another story.

Let's go back to our topic. The migration of Filipinos, coupled with the influence (and at most times, interference) by foreign powers on our country forever changed the ethnicity of Filipinas. They could be categorized into the following.

1. Mestizas (with Caucasian blood). They are characterized by a fair light brown skin, sharp nose, and the usual rounded eyes. In the reel world, mestizas include actresses Anne Curtis (half-Australian), Marian Rivera and Coleen Garcia (half-Spanish), Rhian Ramos and Bea Alonzo (half-British), and model Misa Campo (half-Dutch).

2. Chinitas (with Chinese blood). The Philippines have a long history of trading relations with China, which dates to the pre-Hispanic era. Chinitas are characterized by straight hair, white skin and slanted eyes. Among them is actress Heart Evangelista.

3. Japinays (with Japanese blood). A fine example is model Natalie Hayashi.

4. Morenas (Dark-Skinned). There are Pinays (a slang for Filipino girl), who are mixed with other ethnicities but retain their natural olive tan skin, like radio disc jockey and model Karen Bordador and celebrity endorser Angel Locsin.

While I have a preference for lighter-skinned Filipinas, probably due to the influence of TV and movies with their Westernized concept of beauty, I am not a believer in the saying: "Beauty is only skin deep". I think inner beauty is more important. In choosing a partner-in-life or a friend, what matters most is her philosophy, her attitude and how she treats other people especially those who have less in life and endure more pain and suffering.

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Perfect Unity - a Vision From God

August 28, 1996, I was on board a Cathay Pacific Airline bound for Hongkong. It was my first time to ride an airplane. I read a book about our life's condition when in the airplane. It says there that one side of our life is at the grave. I remember that article while the plane was taking off. Fear suddenly overwhelmed me. I don't know what to do. I just closed my eyes and then said a short prayer. I was dumbfounded after I opened my eyes. I don't know if I had a dream or a vision. I thought I was asleep and dreamt. In fact, it was an awesome dream but was different from my other dreams as it pertains to religion.

When I accepted the job offer to work in Abu Dhabi, I made a mission statement to unite the Christian denominations. I want to win back all those denomination that had separated from the Roman Catholic Church. I want them to come back to her fold. It was a serious joke. I had to justify the reason why I will be working abroad.

Prior to my application to work abroad, I joined the Emmanuel Fellowship. It is a charismatic fellowship at the Greenbelt Chapel in Makati City. That could be one of the reasons why I had the vision.

I saw several stars. There is a variety of sizes and in terms of brightness. After a while, these stars aligned each other forming an arc. The 1st star became the Roman Catholic Church, then the Protestant Church and followed by other denominations. Each one of them is represented by the big stars. In short the big stars symbolize the different denominations. After that, there were small stars coming out from each big star. Each small star was only heading towards a single direction to a big word written in capitalized letter. That word is "JESUS". The small star symbolizes the true believer, the true Christian.

After that vision, my perspective of the true unity that God wants had changed. There is still hope for this unity. In John 17:21, Jesus prayed for his apostles and all the future believers to be united. He said "Father, I pray that all of them will be one, just as you are in me and I am in you. I want them also to be in us. Then the world will believe that you have sent me". It is not through a denomination that the divided Christianity will be united as one Body of Christ but it is only through the Name given by the Father to His Son (John 17:11) and that is the Name "JESUS".

Do you want to be a part of the answer to the Lord Jesus' prayer? I do.

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Internet Lovers And Other Long Distance Relationships

Once upon a time men and women would meet at a school dance or the annual town ball or via friends setting you up for a blind date. Things were simpler then. You didn't expect to stray too far from your home town to meet the love of your life and once you did you didn't stray too far from your parents or other family members when you were setting up your home together.

And by the way women would never have been so bold as to propose marriage unless it was St Valentine's Day.

But now things seem to have become so much more complicated and sometimes I wonder if this has been for the better or maybe is actually for the worse. So many marriages are now arranged over the internet through dating sites or through the limitless number of forums and chat groups that now abound drawing people of similar interest together.

But instead of giving us more choices, as would seem to be the case, maybe it has limited the choice by setting expectations higher than might have once been even thought possible.

As a consequence I receive many emails from clients who are asking whether they should cross the world to meet up with the person they believe may become their life-long partner.

Here's one such question I received recently:

"... well this has being bothering me and i want to go and meet with her.... well she is in USA and im in Nigeria, we have talked so much and i feel she loves me and i love her too... she is 40yrs old and im 29yrs old... please advise me, should i travel down there to her for we to marry and bear children like husband and wife because she said that she want to marry me...."

My antennas are immediately extended when I read questions like this. Firstly my antennas are pricked regarding the true intentions of the person inviting the other to visit with the possibility of marriage. The other detail of this question that alerts me is the age gap between the two people; she is 40 and he a new graduate at age 29. I wonder what is the attraction here especially to the 40 year old who is the one extending the invitation to the younger man.

Finally I question the capacity for two people to decide they love each other purely from email or phone exchanges. This can't possibly answer questions about who that person really is and whether you could truly live successfully together let alone be ready to make a decision about marrying or having children together.

There are so many things to consider before any discussion about marriage can be had not least of which relates to where you will live and what are the visa requirements for that to even start to happen.

So my suggestion to this couple is for both of you to spend time with each other in your own environments before making any decision about the future or marriage. This will allow you both to meet each other's families to discover where this person has come from and what their values are about life and living as a couple. This will also allow you to familiarise yourself with each other's life styles, cultural practices and religious beliefs and practices.

I would encourage each of you to also take a really close look at what is motivating your want to marry someone from across the world. Is it for the promise of a better life? Is it as a means to get away from your own country or family? Is it for the promise of a fairy tale come true?

If, after really thinking through all these conditions, you decide that you still wish to proceed know then that you are making a good decision based not only on your heart's responses but also your head's well thought through considerations. Then meet with each other and take as much time as necessary to really find out who each other is before making any decision about marriage or children.

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